Relationship Curve - The Dreamcatcher Theory

I know I run a serious risk of being termed a nerd or an even worse…an MBA! Just a case of “you can run but you cannot hide” ;)! Funnily, yesterday I was reading an article on “finding your inner voice” and today I had an “enlightened” thought…inspiration ;)??!!

Benjamin Peirce defined mathematics as "the science that draws necessary conclusions”. If you google the term “mathematics”, Wikipedia will tell you that “Other practitioners of mathematics maintain that mathematics is the science of pattern, and that mathematicians seek out patterns whether found in numbers, space, science, computers, imaginary abstractions, or elsewhere”. And today, I found a pattern in all relationships. A graphical representation of all “non-blood relationships”! Let’s call it the “relationship curve”… (God, I know so clichéd…but I promise this is not at all a preview of what is to come! I promise!)

In my opinion, all non-blood relationships in this world go through a curve like the one shown above.

X-axis: Represents the ability to “give” in a relationship
Y-axis: Represents what you “receive” in a relationship

When we meet someone new in our lives, we all start at THE ORIGIN. It’s all neutral at that point.

Quadrant 2 (shown as Dislike to Hate Quadrant): This is a phase that I don’t want to spend too much time explaining. This phase is very self explanatory. You can dislike someone and with time, it’s possible, you may end up hating the person. And remember, “Hate” is a strong word. You may have done something (as viewed by the other person) nasty to be on the receiving end of this emotion. The time to reach infinity in this phase is way shorter than in Quandrant 1.

Quadrant 1 (shown as Like to Love Quadrant): This is my favourite phase and I hope that most of you have lots of people on this side of the axis.

Zone 1(shown as Phase 1 in the diagram):
y=x relationship
As time progresses and our x co-efficient increases, the curve is somewhat like a straight line.
What does it mean: It is a give and take relationship. A point at which you cannot take the other person for granted. In order to receive, you have to make an almost equal contribution. You enter the “more than just acquaintances” zone!

Zone 2 (shown as Phase 2 in the diagram on the left of the dashed vertical line):
y=f1(x) relationship
As our x co-efficient increases, what we receive increases at a faster rate than what we give in the relationship.
Where does this get you: We enter a comfort zone. A zone where friendships are born. A place, hopefully, devoid of judgements. A wonderfully fun zone where “leg pulling” is the name of the game and in return, sporting spirit is an omnipresent phenomena. This point, in my opinion, charts the entire course of what is to come. But it is also the most sensitive spot in the curve. It’s a point where one can easily end up moving backwards, towards the negative axis, if not handled with care. Again, one cannot take this zone for granted. It requires constant input. Else the way out of here is only backwards.

Zone 3 (shown as Phase 2 to the right of the dashed vertical line):
Plateau Point: y = e^x relationship
And this is one where most of our friends tend to reside. Its an overcrowded spot. The people who will be there for every birthday of yours. Who know which country you are living in. People who not only know where you work, but also know your designation. But DON’T REMEMBER WHAT YOU DO. We all need people in this plateau. Cause when there are promotions, they are first in line :)!

Zone 4: y = infinity (shown as last phase of quadrant 1)
This is the point where you reach a wonderfully beautiful threshold value of “love” that renders the relationship permanent. A point where, no matter how busy we get, we know the other person will be there! Our 3 a.m. calls, our alarms for a 5 a.m. flight, our “come to the airport to pick me up” person, a “I am out of milk…can you pick it up when u are coming over” person, a “I am insecure” soundboard, our “I am tired but I will still come along for your office party person”…the ever dependable, always listening, having-more-faith-in-your-strengths-than-you-have-in-yourself person.

This is also one of the most difficult and time consuming phases to reach. It requires a lot of nurturing and a lot of input. You risk seeing mirages if you speed up too fast. This relationship stands the test of time, of misunderstandings, of jealously, of love. What we give is insignificant in the face of what we receive. It’s the point of “infinity” (infinite love). This is the best place to be in. (And I wish this one for all of you! :)).

This model should typically be a 3 dimensional model, where the third dimension should be time i.e. the time taken at each phase. But honestly, my intelligence constrains here! Plus, really it would be pushing it a lot. Wow, just realized this would make a great research thesis (wow that’s giving myself a lot of credit). One day maybe! :D

P.S. This is dedicated to all my girls! :D Here is to the last 10 years! :D